Yesterday, I received an invitation to my High School reunion: it’s already been 20 years! I didn’t go to the 10th, I wasn’t invited. Or never saw the invitation. Now, it’s the 20th. Already 20 years! Wow! Those 20 years passed so fast!
Am I going to go? I don’t know. It all depends on how I will feel. Why go to a High School reunion? I think people go to High School reunions for 2 reasons.
First, we obviously want to reconnect with old friends. The friendships we develop during our youth are relationships that shape us, for the best or worst, sometimes both. But we have to admit that if it takes a High School reunion to reconnect, maybe those friendships weren’t worth keeping, or we are so lame it takes an official event to finally talk to our so-called friends.
As for me, I had good friends in High School, but they weren’t very close friends, and it’s my fault. I don’t know why (and now I am opening in such a personal level that I hope no one will read this post), but I was dismissing myself, on my own. My opinion of myself kept me from forming deep relationships. It’s not that I had low self esteem. Our family didn’t have a lot of money, so I wasn’t dressed like the other kids. I remember that day, in Science class, I restrained myself from getting up from my desk and to ask the teacher a question because I was wearing jeans without pockets on the bum. And the popular brand of jeans, the Levi’s, had pockets on the bum.
I wasn’t popular. I always thought that people found me boring, inappropriate, not fitting in… all that, even before they even told me or made me feel that way. So it was all my fault. Or maybe it was my super thick, curly, unruly hair that scared people! Ahahah! It’s true! My hair was a mess!! But that was before the hair straightener era!!
The second reason why we go to High School reunions is that we want to show off. We think we made a good living, we are proud of what we accomplished, that we succeeded in life, and we want to let people know. It’s funny how, when we are teenagers, we always compare ourselves with others, and we want to fit in. And then, 20 years later, we still compare ourselves! What’s wrong with us? With me? I am very happy and proud of what I have accomplished, but I am not a postdoctoral researcher, working in a European University! How can I compete with THAT?!!
I know, it’s not a competition. We all choose our own path, and what’s important in the end is that we are happy. I think that High School gets the worse out of us. And comparing ourselves with other isn’t healthy. Like, I am proud of my website, I am proud of what I have accomplished, but will I really introduce myself to my old school mates like a blogger? That’s not very impressive… That I have visited 29 countries? Ok, interesting, but so what?
I believe it all depends on our very personal definition of success. When can we say we succeeded in life? What’s my definition of success? Yes, I can say I have succeeded in life, at least so far. I am happily married, for 16 years now, with my best friend, I am the mother of the most incredibly smart and fun and beautiful little girl, I have a lot of amazing friends, I am still close to my precious family, I have a very good job and I am pursuing my dream of traveling around the world. Unfortunately, I somewhat feel it’s not enough…
At least, now I am straightening my hair! 😉
So please, tell me: should I go?
How did your High School reunion go?