This is not an article I want you to read. I am writing those lines wishing no one will read them, but I have to tell someone. This is a therapy for me. This is a page of my diary.

If you are just like me, you feel special. I think (and I hope I’m not the only one) that I am, in a way, special. That’s why when I read on the web that it’s hard to make a living from a blog, or with a website, I thought I could make it. I am at least a little bit special, not like all the other ones who try and fail at it. I never thought I would become rich with it, but get a nice following, engage with people, and make a decent little amount of money.

I also thought it wasn’t this hard to have a website, and it didn’t take much time to run it. I felt exactly the same when people told me I wouldn’t have time for myself anymore when I’d have my little girl. How much time can a cute little baby take? Aren’t they in a bouncer or in their crib all the time? You know what? They were right. They knew better. No, I don’t have much time for myself since I gave birth to my precious Emma-Kate.

So what is it really, to start and run a website? Because what I have is more than just a blog. I write travel guides, I have a Destination Finder, I look out for Deals for you, I run contests and quizzes, etc. That’s the question my friend asked me the other day: what do you do all the time, working on your website? Not that she was judging, she was only wondering.

The answer is not glamorous or fancy. I am not in a coffee shop writing my thoughts all day. I am working from 6 to 7h30AM, while Emma-Kate is still sleeping (she has a wonderful sleeping schedule!). Then from 1 to 3PM, when she is napping, and from 6h30 to 8PM, when my loving husband is taking care of her (and of the dishes… I have the best supporting husband!). This adds up to about 30 hours a week.

What have I been working on for 30 hours a week? It changes all the time, because I am working on different projects. But lately, I have been working on writing and designing my e-book ‘19 Secret Tips Only the Savviest Travelers Know‘. I have also been working on a new sweepstake ‘Win a 100$ Gift Card’ (designing all the ads, writing the official rules, putting it together so it runs well). Every month, I update on my homepage the month’s favorite destinations by interest. I design pictures so that it can be appealing to my Pinterest followers. I am writing one newsletter every week, blog posts, answer comments on social media, get new top 10s, putting together around the world itineraries, looking for some affiliate partnership that would be useful to you. And much more.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to complain. I love what I do. I would work even more if I would decide to put Emma-Kate in childcare. But I have decided not to, and my husband supports me unconditionally, so that I would experience and live her first years along with her, make the most out of it. Spend as much time as I can with her. Because, just like we want to make the most out of a trip we take, I want to appreciate and be there for her and be the one who teaches her and show her our beautiful planet. I love being with her, and I love working on my website. They’re both a drug for me.

But sometimes I get a little disappointed when I don’t have the results I want. I am working here, from home, and I send content, ideas, experiences out there. But is there really someone seeing and reading it? I think it’s like working on the radio: you talk all day, but you don’t know how many are listening and if they really like you. That’s the feeling I have. I want to improve and do a better job, but there is so much I can do alone.

There is also the money aspect. I have my website, and I am a travel agent. None are paying, I have to admit. I made a little bit of money with my Amazon shop since it all began (274.02$CA actually, in one year). That’s all. I am trying different things now. There are some blogs on the web saying you can make a lot of money within a year doing this and that, but one thing I should be doing and I am not, is investing money. The more money I put it, usually the more money I should be making. I am investing money, but it’s obviously not enough.

I know, it’s only been a year… but it’s been more than one full year! I thought that maybe I was a little special. I used to succeed at everything I did. Very good. I am quite good at almost everything I do. Except this. Or maybe not. Maybe only time will tell. I am certainly not an expert on blogging and managing a website. I have no advice to give. No, that’s not true, I have one: if you want to start a blog or your own website, you have to be passionate about it and believe in it. Otherwise, you won’t last for long.

One last thing I want to say to you, yes you! Since I didn’t even want you to read this… Do you know what would make me more successful? Do you hold the secret key to blogging success? Why don’t you share with me (and other readers) your secrets?

Another one last thing: please don’t tell anyone about this article… it’s already so humbling for me to put it out there… or just talk about it, so more people will come read me!

One final last thing: thank you for reading me. Thank you so much! So, so much!!!!!

My next post will be about what worked for me, the tools I found along the way that make my blogging life so much easier.

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